Happy Thanksgiving! I know it sounds strange but…today I am so thankful for all of the trials and tribulations I’ve been through in my life. They have helped my cherish the many blessings that I do have. Today I am thankful for faith renewed, lessons learned, strength gained, an awesome son, a wonderful family and fabulous friends. What are you thankful for today??
I have kind of been in a funk lately. I have such a heavy heart. Horrible things have been happening in our world since the beginning of time but last weeks attacks in Paris really got to me.
I am a born again Christian. I say that, proudly. I do not hide it and I will not be silent about it. That being said…I understand that not everyone shares my beliefs. I am not the kind of person who will beat you over the head with my bible. I will explain my faith, why I believe in God and what lead me to accepting His grace. If you believe differently from me, I will let you know where I stand, respectfully, and also listen to your beliefs and the reasons for them. I will speak in love and I will listen in love. I don’t feel the need to debate my stance, in a disrespectful manner, nor do I feel the need to hate or harm you just because you don’t agree with my faith.
I have atheist friends, agnostic friends, wiccan friends, friends who are Jewish, Greek Orthodox, Hindu, Jehovah’s Witness, Buddhist and Muslim friends. I have friends who believe in aliens and friends who believe we evolved from monkeys. None of that matters to me. I do not need to agree with you or accept your beliefs as my own in order to love you, be kind to you and show you respect.
I can’t wrap my brain around the fact that there are so many in this world who’s sole purpose for living is to harm and kill those who believe differently from them. I am well aware that for thousands of years extremism has been practiced in one form or another, whether it has been for religious, racial or political reasons. I also understand that we will never be able to wipe extremism completely from the face of this earth. It will ALWAYS be around. Maybe that is why my heart has been so heavy lately. Hate and evil are running rampant. Atrocities being done in the name of religion. The thirst for power and revenge being disguised under moral obligation. I’ve read about it in history books, I’ve watched the news to see it going on in distant lands, I’ve heard about it from those that have been affected, I’ve seen it take place on the soil of my own country. It is reality. It is scary. It is sad.
What a beautiful world we would live in if everyone treated others with love, kindness and respect.
I’ve been in a reflective mood today. I’ve had a very rough 2 years: a failed marriage, broken financial promises, losing a friendship over a simple misunderstanding…it’s like every time I start to get through something. ..a new painful situation arises.
If you would have asked me 2 years ago if I saw myself, in the futur, ever getting past the pain and heartaches that I was experiencing ..I would have laughed and called you crazy. I was in grudge mode.
I focused so much of my time and energy into anger and resentment…and for what? The only person I hurt was myself. Hatred,and resentment are such a waste of space Also, as a Christian, I believe that all impure thoughts and behaviors are straight from the pits of hell…they are not of God. So, when God says to forgive, but I don’t, then I am being disobedient to God’s word. When I harbor a grudge or resentment in my heart, I am allowing Satan to occupy a space that is only meant to be occupied by God’s love and forgiveness. How can I claim that I am a child of God when I act so foolishly? How can I set a good example of my values when I’m just talking the talk but not walking the walk? The answer is, I can’t.
Forgiveness is not always easy. I suffer from a condition known as ‘stubbornness. ‘ My stubbornness is a constant struggle and it brings nothing but negativity to my life when I allow it in. Sometimes I am so hurt that I don’t want to forgive someone, especially if they haven’t asked for it. But what good does my resentment and unforgiving heart do for me? Nothing! It leaves me feeling cold, lonely, empty and angry…my heart hardens a little bit each time I hold a grudge or withhold forgiveness. In essence…I’m damaging MYSELF….not the transgressor!
When I think back to all the poor decisions I’ve made in my life that have affected others (my son in particular)I mentally and emotionally beat myself over said decisions. Why? Because ‘self hatred’ is exactly where the devil wants my mind to go…and when I do start analyzing every bad decision I’ve made and start beating myself up over them…I have let Satan win.
Forgiveness is freedom. You don’t need to wait to be asked for forgiveness…do it as soon as possible, for yourself…it’ll bring you peace. When you have peace and are practicing God’s love…there won’t be much room for anger. When you start to feel like your past is overwhelming your present…pray. Don’t give the devil the power to distract you with a past that you might not be proud of…but that you can’t change. Forgive yourself and move on. The only behavior that you can control is in the here and now and the future….the past is done and over. Leave it there.Forgiveness brings healing.
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